


but tell me the truth

by proximanova (helveticaneue)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Friends to Lovers, Multi, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-22 01:00:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11369274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helveticaneue/pseuds/proximanova
Summary: "Willy has always imagined romance, since he was young, has always idealized the potential of being able to love fully and be loved in return.It dawns on him that they both expect this to be a platonic bond."





	but tell me the truth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [absention](https://archiveofourown.org/users/absention/gifts).



> Title from Shel Silverstein.
> 
> Thank you to my best friend for the very last minute beta!

Willy knows the name Mitch Marner long before he’s in the running for the OHL scoring title. He knows the name Auston Matthews before people are even whispering it as a possibility for first overall. He takes comfort in the fact that they know his name too, knew it before he was ever drafted to the Leafs. He’s the oldest of them, and they must have been born with it inked onto their skin. 

He watches the 2015 draft, and breathes a sigh of relief when Mitch is drafted, fourth overall, to the Toronto Maple Leafs. He sees Mitch’s blue maple leaf tie and he’s honestly giddy with the thought – they’re going to play together and  _ be together _ . 

The giddiness carries him to development camp, to his first meeting with Mitch, where he extends his hand to shake and Mitch pulls him into a hug. 

A couple of the other guys look at them, bemused. 

“Did you like the tie?” Mitch asks, finally stepping back after an almost too long embrace. 

Willy grins, “Loved it.”

He’s heard when the bond forms it feels like everything is sliding into place. He isn’t feeling that yet and he didn’t expect to. Sometimes you can have someone’s name and it’ll be days, weeks, years after meeting before the bond forms. 

And Auston isn’t there yet. 

Willy has done a lot of research on people who have two names. Sometimes the names don’t have each other. But he’s always known deep within him that it’ll be the three of them, together. 

Mitch is cuddly with pretty much everyone at camp. He stands on the line between too close, giving out hugs liberally, and he finds a different arm to tuck himself under during every dinner they go out to together. He’s a little bit of nuisance, getting into people’s space and staying there, but in a way where you can’t help but good naturedly put up with it. 

Despite all this, he’s everything Willy would usually classify as straight. 

He listens to classic rock, and he won’t shut up about hot girls. He laughs at homophobic jokes that make Willy have to close his eyes and count his breaths and remind himself that he belongs in the locker room with the rest of them. 

He treats Willy like just another one of the guys, and that  _ hurts _ . 

Willy gets it. They have a third person and he wants to start off as friends too, and not try to force a relationship even if the names inked on his skin say that they’re right for each other. 

There’s three of them, and Willy’s grandmother, ever wise, says that means he’ll just have more love. There’s so much stigma, against having more than one soulmate that that hurts too, almost as much as the homophobic jokes in the locker room sting, get under Willy’s skin and pulse there like the ache after a bad bruise. 

He just reminds himself that even if it doesn’t seem like it yet, Mitch is his soulmate,  _ #confirmed _ , and even if things are weird now, they will be okay. 

He reminds himself, and Viktor has to deal with it, the only one outside Willy’s family who knows that he has two names and knows who they are, thanks to a night of drunken confessions last season. Viktor’s used to dealing with his whining, even though it’s morphed from complaints about practices to soliloquies about Mitch’s smile, which, in the immortal words of Taylor Swift, could light up this whole town.  

Some people don’t meet their soulmates until they’re middle aged, or older. Willy is lucky to have even met Mitch. He can wait for him and Auston a little longer. 

-

It’s almost 7 p.m. in Toronto, 1 a.m. in Stockholm. Willy has his text conversation with Mitch open, last used months ago. Which, he won’t lie, hurts a little. But they’re waiting for their missing piece, and they’re about to get it. 

Alex went to bed a while ago – they have to be up early for training the next day – laughing a little at Willy when he said goodnight. “You know he’s going first,” he’d said. “I don’t see why you’re so nervous.”

Willy isn’t nervous exactly. He just wants to see it. He wants that proof, like Mitch’s maple leaf tie. He wants to know that Auston knows. 

The Leafs pick is in. They’re up on stage and Lou is talking, then introducing Mark. 

Something settles in Willy when he hears Mark say “Auston Matthews.” He texts Mitch, just a string of exclamation points. Mitch sends back a bunch of leaf emojis. 

Auston is on stage, in a leafs hat and jersey. Willy has spent a lot of time stalking him online -well, stalking isn't exactly the word, more like anxiously googling him in hopes of insight, preparing to finally meet him, and he somehow thinks he hasn’t ever looked better. 

-

Mitch greets him with a hug at development camp this year, practically tackles him and says “This year’s our year” quietly, assured, into his ear. 

The Marlies guys laugh at them, but Willy knows. Willy is sure too. 

Auston walks in and Mitch and Willy part, turn to him in what Willy is sure is eerie synchronicity.  

Auston looks at them, and he doesn’t smile, but there’s something in his eyes. Willy’s ring finger, with the two names running down the sides, is itching. 

Auston’s  _ here _ , with him and Mitch, and that means something. The marks, their placement, scientists and bond experts say it’s meaningless, but in Sweden they’ve always had a meaning. When Willy was very young, when the names on his finger were too tiny to read, his grandmother told him that a mark on your ring finger was very special. It meant you would be partners in every sense – in love, in life, in happiness. 

He and Mitch and Auston are going to play together, and they’re going to win together, and they’ll be together too. 

Mitch tackle hugs Auston, just like he did to Willy, now and when they first met. 

Willy’s chest is bursting, like that sliding into place feeling everyone’s told him about. Kasperi leans into him, mutters “Turn down the sun a little, dude. Your smile is going to distract everyone.”

Willy tries to tamper it down a little, but based on the look Kappy gives him, he hasn’t done a very good job. 

He invites Mitch and Auston over to he and Kappy’s apartment after the first day of camp.

Seeing Auston and Mitch in Willy’s space is gratifying, his daydreams becoming reality. Willy has thought about this a lot, just them being in his apartment, not even doing anything in particular. 

They settle on the couch together, a huge sectional where Willy and Kappy can both stretch out and fall asleep if they’re really too lazy to get back to bed. Willy curls up in the corner, so Mitch and Auston sit on either side. It’s an exact fantasy of his, though they’re usually a little closer, cuddling together.

Willy loves to cuddle, okay? A lot of his daydreams revolve around that. 

“So, uh… Do you want to see them?” Auston asks. 

Willy tries not to sound too eager with his affirmative, but, well, he isn’t quite sure he succeeds. 

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Mitch grins. 

Auston, much to Willy’s delight, pulls off his shirt. The names are stark black on his chest, just under his left pec, Willy’s neat print  stack on top of Mitch’s messy scrawl. Willy has seen Mitch’s name a million times, but he’s never seen his own on someone else’s skin. 

“Can I–” he starts, reaching out. Auston nods. 

There’s a zing when he touches it with his ring finger, the one with the names, sort of like how it feels when you have a pinched nerve. Auston jolts, a little. 

“Is that where yours is?” he asks. 

Willy lifts his hand so they can both see it, Mitch’s name of the left side of his finger, Auston’s on the right, just how they’re sitting now.

The moment feels charged, Auston and Mitch both staring. 

“Isn't there like - some symbolism to -” Mitch manages, quiet in contrast to his usual outgoing volume, and Willy shrugs. 

Mitch lifts his shirt and pushes down the waistband of his sweats, a little, just so they can see the names in the dips of his hips. 

Willy thinks about Auston’s names, over his heart. His names, on his ring finger. He reaches out, asks if he can touch. 

“Yeah, sure,” Mitch says. “It’s your name, isn’t it?”

There’s that same zing as before, and it hits Willy deep. 

“I kind of always thought my soulmates would play hockey,” Mitch tells them, then, “Holy shit, what if they put us on a line. That would be fucking awesome.”

There are other soulmates in the NHL, mostly platonic mates. Some of them play on a line, and some don’t. Some aren’t even on the same team, which breaks Willy’s heart to think about. 

It would be cool though, to play together.

Mitch keeps chattering, about playing together and hockey and there’s a sinking feeling in Willy’s stomach when he mentions Crosby and Malkin, Tampa’s triplets. Those are platonic bonds.

Auston is smiling, agreeing. He throws in Parise and Suter, and the Sedins, “Swedes, for Willy.”

It dawns on Willy that they both expect this to be a platonic bond.

Willy has always imagined romance, since he was young, has always idealized the potential of being able to love fully and be loved in return. He imagined a handsome man sweeping him off his feet, he imagined the three of them together in bed, at a bonding ceremony in white suits. Platonic bonds are much less formal. 

His names are on his fucking ring finger. He never wanted to believe that was meaningless. 

Willy has never been good at hiding his emotions. He’s glad Auston and Mitch don’t know him well, not yet, and they might not be able to tell that he’s upset. It feels like it’s obvious, clear on his face that his chest feels tight and his throat is closed up and he’s trying to hold back tears. 

He can deal. He just needs to be able to process this drastic shift in how he imagines his future with Mitch and Auston not sitting on either side of him, talking about platonic bonds. 

Willy feels awkward, now, the three of them sitting together on the couch. “Chel?” he offers, because he doesn’t know what to do with the fact he wants to kiss them, both of them, and neither of them seem to want that too. 

Kasperi’s on a date, promising to make himself scarce for a couple of hours so they could talk while waggling his eyebrows madly. Willy wishes he would hurry up, so he doesn’t have to be alone with Mitch and Auston while he’s feeling like this. 

There’s things he should tell them. His mom always told him that when he finally met them, they should always be honest with each other. But right now it’ll hurt to tell them that he’s gay, that he wanted romance and marriage and  _ love _ out of this. He never expected to love them like he loves Alex, like brothers. 

He wants them to leave, almost, but he doesn’t want to kick them out. And he still does like being between them, the people who are destined for him forever, even if it’s just as friends.

He just has to adjust. It’ll take time, but they’re still going to play together. They’re still going to  _ win  _ together. That thought has to satisfy him, for now. 

-

They hang out a lot at dev camp, though Willy sticks close to Kappy, trying to avoid getting caught alone with Mitch or Auston or both for fear he might let everything spill out. If a bond forms, they’ll be able to feel each other’s emotions, maybe even thoughts if it’s strong enough. Willy is terrified of what they would hear. He knows he isn’t supposed to, but his gaze keeps catching on Auston’s chest or his ass or Mitch’s lips or his hips. 

It’s a reminder, of what he’s always wanted and what he can’t have. 

Dev camp is only a week, then it’s back to Sweden until late August. Willy wishes he could say it’s not a relief for it to be over, but that wouldn’t be true. 

He doesn’t tell anyone in his family what happened, just smiles and says that meeting Auston and Mitch was great. They all seem to know it didn’t go well anyway. 

He hates being easy to read. 

“You know, William,” his grandmother says, “You’ve got pretty good instincts. If you think it’s supposed to be romantic, you’re probably right.”

Willy shakes his head. “I think I was just projecting, making it what I wanted.”

“If you’re sure,” she says. And suddenly Willy isn’t so sure anymore, that he’ll just learn to deal with a platonic bond. Maybe he was right in the first place and Mitch and Auston are the ones who are wrong. 

_ I’m going to seduce them _ he texts Kappy. 

_?????  _ Kappy sends, then  _ Ohhhh _ .  _ Get it dude!! _

Willy isn’t going to push, necessarily. He absolutely isn’t going to make anyone do anything they don’t want to do. But he’s going to make sure he looks good. He wants Auston and Mitch to know what they’re missing. 

-

Training camp is better. Willy doesn’t feel sick to his stomach every time he looks at Mitch or Auston. Instead, he just feels excited. 

He thinks that maybe, just maybe, Mitch and Auston might have decided they wanted a platonic bond because in North America that’s just what’s supposed to happen when you have two soulmates of the same sex. 

If they don’t like him, then they don’t. But North Americans are modest, their same-sex bonds and three way bonds are platonic at a rate so much higher than in Sweden that Willy thinks there are some delicate sensibilities he might have to push through. 

All he’s doing is his best to show them that he’s worthy of a romantic bond, that being friends is awesome but they have the potential to be something more. 

-

Auston and Mitch drive to the rink together, and wear matching outfits, and sing Bon Jovi together on the bench. Willy isn’t part of that, but he doesn’t need to be. They don’t need to love each other the same ways to be bonded, and Willy does love them. 

Mitch and Auston are easy to love, after all. They’re meant for him to love. 

He honestly doesn’t think he’s in love with them. There’s potential there, brewing, but he’s managed to protect himself from falling. He’s fighting for that potential, not because he’s desperately pining. He wants to fall in love with them, but that means they’ll have to want to fall in love with him too. 

He’s going to fight for that the only way he knows how. He swaps out basketball shorts for more clinging spandex shorts that barely cover up his ass. He plasters himself against them during team dinners, dances up against them at clubs and bars. 

Mitch is touchy and cuddling right back, and Auston is possessive in his own way, draping his arm over Willy when he’s next to him and pulling him close. Willy revels in their touch.

The guys don’t know they have each others’ names – it isn’t something they’ve deemed necessary to share – but they do know the three of them are weird about each other. They’re close, really close, in a way that’s exhilarating. He understands now, people saying that a soulmate isn’t just a best friend or a partner, but something much deeper. 

He lets it slip that he’s gay when they’re at the mall, Auston in search for some new perfectly ripped jeans, Willy planning on trying on something sexy and asking Mitch and Auston what they think. 

It’s not that he’s hiding it, he just isn’t sure how to bring it up. He’s trying on these leather pants with a simple black v-neck shirt, and Mitch says, “Dude, no homo, but you’re so pretty.”

“I’m full homo, though,” Willy says. 

Mitch only blinks and says, “Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us,” before pulling Willy into a hug. It feels so familiar that Willy is sure guys have come out to Mitch before. There’s something about him you trust, despite how flippant he comes across sometimes, like you know he’ll always take you seriously. 

Auston joins the hug and pats Willy on the back comfortingly. “Get the pants,” he says. “They look really good on you.”

From Auston it’s acceptance, and the nervous energy inside Willy has settled a little bit. They’re okay with him. It’s a big jump between them being okay with Willy being gay and actually being in a relationship with him, but the step he just took is a big one. It feels like a lot. 

-

Mitch’s apartment is the best place for them to hang out, because there’s no parents or roommates to deal with. 

Willy is the undisputed Mario Kart champion of the three of them, though Auston insists it’s because he’s cheating. After a game where Willy wins by a large margin, Auston tackles him to the ground, knocking his controller out of his hands. 

“Mitch,” Willy says, struggling under Auston’s weight, “Help me out here, dude.”

“I’m not getting involved in this,” Mitch says, putting his hands up. “I gotta piss, you two better have this figured out by the time I’m back.”

Willy twists under Auston, mostly so Auston won’t be able to tell that he’s getting hard. This usually happens when they wrestle, and while Willy’s tight jeans are excellent for seduction, they aren’t exactly as excellent for hiding a boner.

But when he’s shifting, he feels – “Oh.” Auston’s hard, on top of him. 

“Sorry, Will, I–”

“Wait, no.” Willy says, stopping Auston from scrambling off him. “I want–”

Auston kisses him. 

There’s tingling, over his heart, right where his name is on Auston. 

“Oh,” Auston says, when he pulls back. “ _ Oh. _ ” 

Willy tilts his head up, not willing to stop kissing Auston, and there’s a loud squeak from above them.

Mitch is back. 

“You guys, um, you–” he says, before turning and running out the door, letting it slam behind him. 

“Shit,” Auston says. This time Willy lets him climb off, and he gets up to sit on the couch. “Shit, Mitch.”

“Should we – this is his apartment. Should we leave?”

“I’ll text him,” Auston says. “It’s cold out, I don’t think he grabbed a coat.” 

Willy gets up to sit next to him, finally pressing their legs together like he’s wanted for so long. “Do you think he’s mad? That we kissed?”

“God, I fucking hope not,” Auston says. “That would suck.”

It would. It really would. Willy lets his head rest on Auston’s shoulder, tucking himself under Auston’s arm. When Auston gets a text back, he angles his phone so Willy can see it too:  _ You can stay, I just need to clear my head a little. I’ll be back soon.  _

Willy lets out a sigh of relief, and it matches Auston’s. 

It doesn’t take Mitch too long to get back, and Willy and Auston spring apart on the couch. Mitch just sort of blinks at them.

He doesn’t look uncomfortable, which is good, but all he does is pick up a controller and say “Who wants to try to beat me on Rainbow Road?” 

Willy wonders if they’re just going to do this, pretend it didn’t happen. He doesn’t want to, and he hopes Auston doesn’t either. But he’ll give Mitch time. He’s still not sure what the near non-reaction means. 

Auston doesn’t tackle Willy and wrestle him after any races, which is a little out of character for him, but Willy thinks he’s just trying to make Mitch feel comfortable. Willy wants to be careful too. The last thing they want Mitch to do is leave.

Auston gets a call from Zach Werenski and goes to take it, muttering about idiots and Michigan. Mitch sets down his controller and turns to Willy.

“How did you know you were gay?” He asks. 

And,  _ oh.  _ Okay. 

“I think I always sort of knew,” he says. “Like my names were guys’ names, so I knew my soulmates would be men. So it made sense, that I would like men.”

“Oh,” Mitch says. “So you wanted a romantic bond? Why didn’t you say?”

Willy laughs, only a little bitterly. “You don’t exactly tell two straight guys who are talking about platonic bonds that you’ve been dreaming of a romantic bond your whole life.” 

“I don’t think Auston is straight,” Mitch says thoughtfully.

“Well I know that  _ now _ ,” Willy says. “At the time I was upset. I had to reevaluate all my plans for the future.”

“I don’t think I’m straight either,” Mitch says. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while and – well, I really liked seeing you guys kissing.” He lets out a long breath. “Fuck, that was hard to say.”

Willy pulls him into a hug. 

“I’m really sorry, Willy,” Mitch says. “You wanted – and I didn’t –”

“God, don’t feel bad,” Willy says. 

Auston gets back and drops down on Mitch’s other side to join the hug. “Why are we hugging Mitch?”

“Do you want me to–” Willy starts, and Mitch cuts him off with an affirmative. 

“Mitch is questioning his sexuality,” Willy explains. “And so he wanted to know how I knew I was gay.”

Auston shrugs. “When I realized I was bi I realized I’d had crushes on guys before that I’d just convinced myself was friendship. I just hid it from everyone, even myself. It’s a tough thing to understand.”

Mitch lets out a shaky sigh. “All the other kids were talking about who they would marry and my parents told me I would just have two best friends, since I had two names and they were both guys. I guess I just accepted it. Like, even after I learned that I could have a romantic bond with two people, and with other guys, it was kind of hard, you know? To get over that.”

Auston takes Mitch’s hand in both of his. “We’re not going to rush you into things, if it’s hard still. We love you, you know.”

“God, I really love you guys too,” Mitch says. 

And things slide, a little, but it’s not disconcerting. It fits. Willy can feel Mitch’s nerves, bright and tight through love, love, love. He can feel Auston’s joy that this is happening. They’re doing this. 

He takes a deep breath and leans in. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://brandondubinskys.tumblr.com) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/nikucherov)


End file.
